Ever wondered what your kids are talking about within their friendship group?
How about your son who is in grade 5 and has 4 good mates. What do they talk about at school during lunch times or when they are waiting to be picked up or on the way to the bus?
Most parents and caregivers will say “Of course James, I know I talk to my kids all the time”
Here is the conversation.
Mum. “How was your day today”?
Response “Good”
End of conversation.
Information exchange = Almost zero. At least we know our kids are “good”
Try this communication process.
“Great to see you. So, tell me about 3 things that happened today that made you laugh?”
The strategy here is to get your kids to talk. We find at The Mental Switch that engaging kids with “stuff” that has occurred during their day is when you have your best shot at knowing the truth and what is on their minds.
We have utilised this process now for 3 years with our kids and the difference in conversation is amazing. The kids are so relaxed and at times will talk all the way home about school and what is going on. As parents and caregivers, we then get the opportunity to chat again later in privacy with our children if we hear a little edge in their voice.
Use one or two of the following on a continual basis.
- What were your three favourite things from today?
- Tell me about what you learnt in Math today?
- What was fun at lunch time today?
- What did you buy for your lunch today and what else was on the menu?
- How is Mr Teacher today? Did you get the chance to have a chat about your homework?
- So, who played handball today with you and who said the ball was in when we all knew it was out?
Asking open questions such as describe to me; give me three things you leant, will all promote conversation.
Conversation creates Attachment
Attachment creates Trust
Trust creates Openness
Openness is where the issues will come out
Have fun with it.
With love and support to you and yours.
James Clark
The Mental Switch
